Finding Thankfulness This Holiday
We’re now entering the holiday season. This season brings with it a lot of joy, a lot of nostalgia, and this year, a new awareness of a changing world. For those of us who have lived with binge eating disorder for so many holiday seasons, navigating this season is always a mixed blessing. But fixation on food doesn’t have to rule your life—this month or any other.
There’s a very real inclination to get stuck on our tendency to diet. It feels like the way to enjoy the holidays is to have rules about what we can eat: no carbs, or no dessert, or some other strict diet rules that worked for friends or family or lifestyle bloggers. But these holidays don’t have to be a story about how well you followed the rules. They can instead be about your resilience. They can be about the powerful conversations and guidance from mentors that reminded you to take joy in the season. This is your chance to make your own story what you want it to be.
The spirit of Thanksgiving isn’t really food. It is gratitude, and building new memories on our old traditions. Everyone’s resilience strategies are personal; everyone’s are a little different. It’s okay if you’re still working on rising above a rule-based mindset. This is a process.
Since many of us can’t be with all the ones we love this Thanksgiving, we may be channeling that love into shopping for the perfect holiday gift. If 2020 has taught us anything, it’s appreciating the small moments, the thoughtful gestures. Check in with yourself and your motivation for spending. If you struggle with binge eating, know that it often comes with a co-occurring shopping issue.
No present will make this year better, but being present will. While we can’t be together in person, we can be attentive to what our friends and family are going through. Reach out. Connect with loved ones online instead. Zoom graciously eliminated the time limitation for people who want to use zoom on Thanksgiving. You can even do it all day…
While we’re on the topic of gifting, what gift are you giving yourself this year? Think beyond material items whose joy is fleeting. How about investing in yourself through classes or private sessions?
Of course, for some of us, there may be relief in not having to gather with family this Thanksgiving. It’s ok to feel relieved. If dealing with family is challenging, plan how you will deal with it this year. Make a mental checklist based on what happened last year and plan how you can bookend the experience with something positive. Connect with your own gratitude before you see family by meditating or taking a walk (whatever soothes your soul and leaves you feeling nourished), then schedule a call with friends after your family Thanksgiving so you can end on a positive note and have something to look forward to.
It’s similar to struggling with binge eating, sometimes you have to go through the same thing multiple times before you make a plan that enables change. Use the past to learn what worked and what didn’t. Check in with yourself and be honest. What do you need to get through? Maybe it’s time baking in the kitchen with the tunes blasting, maybe it’s more time with your kids, or maybe it’s reaching out to a friend to vent!
No matter how the day looks, take a moment to recognize the small blessings. Happy Thanksgiving!